I just wanted to let you know that this is probably not the best place to get good critique on your writing.
You can go to a number of free sites for authors to upload their work and be reviewed by eachother… a simple web search will point you in the right direction.

As far as your story is concerned, I would say you definitely have some interesting things happening. I would just be careful not to throw your reader into the deep end of the pool right from the beginning.
The reader needs to know some things about your character that makes them seem likeable or interesting…. then you hit them upside the head with all the drama.
Always remember that your reader wants to identify with someone and care whether they live or die – succeed or fail. If people are just randomly doing things without having a deep profile, your reader will get bored too easily.

Good Luck and keep up the good work!

PS – don’t worry about the grammar too much. It IS important but practice makes perfect. Spend some time reading other books and you will learn a lot.

It is just little things. In one paragraph, “She thought about these details…”, every sentence starts with the word “She”. (Personally, when I have a first draft I like, I go back over the story using the highlight feature on my computer. Then I have it highlight every time I start a sentence with “She”. They all pop up yellow, if I have used it more than twice in a paragraph, I can spot it and rewrite it. Then do it again with another word I feel I may have over used like “had”.)

In this paragraph you change from third person to first person. “She was putting her escape plans into effect. Thanks heavens I probably won’t be staying here much longer. I can go stay with Dad or Auntie and really work on my paintings.” or left off that Candace is thinking this.

Another sentence “As a child, she had been fascinated occasionally by a beautiful dress for a special occasion, but as soon as she hit her teens, she started buying baby doll dresses and seventies-style clothing from old thrift shops or else, the mall.” is too long. By breaking it up you might be a stronger impact. Also “occasionally” and “occasion” is the same sentence sounds redundant.

Grammatically, you have a tendency to drop the second set of quotation marks after a tag line of the dialog. Small stuff.

I would be interested in reading more. I hope that is the kind of response you are looking for. Really, it is great!!! If you don’t like or disagree with anything I suggest, hey it is just my opinion. Feel free to ignore it. Just keep writing!!!
Good luck