A very serious question about depression?

Question: I truly feel that I may be suffering from major depressive disorder. I am now 21 years old, and have been suffering feelings of detachment and sadness for the greater part of my life. My parents were divorced when I was 8 and I had a very troubled childhood. I had always thought that my childhood caused me to be the way that I am. I am now entertaining the possibility that there may be something greater involved with my problem. I wrote the excerpt below recently in order to get some of my feelings out in writing. Am I correct in assuming that I really have “depression?” Please see below.

“I’m going to take a chance and open myself up more than I have done in many years. For what seems like an extremely long time, probably the past 7 or 8 years, I have felt increasingly emotionally numb. It has progressed as I have gotten older. Now, the numbness does not come in spurts, nor is it sporadic. I consistantly do not feel any real emotion at all. I do not enjoy life, or live at all for the moment. I do not feel joy, nor do I feel what I would consider to be pain. I just feel ISOLATED and vastly empty. I am always preoccupied with building my own future, and think of nothing but the distant goals that I have. I live vicariously through idealizing my own future. I always feel like I’m waiting for something to happen– this or that. I cannot even begin to explain how tuned-out I am. I literally feel dead inside.
I often feel as if I am trapped within my own mind, reclusively entertaining myself with what I would like for my life to be like as I ignore nearly everyone in the world around me. I keep a very select few, who are extremely close to my heart, updated on my day to day activities and will reveal with them the very superficial aspects of my inner feelings. However, it almost seems as if I am fearful or resentful of human connection, the vast majority of my past relationships have died. My connection to family, and my friendships that felt like family, have all deteriorated. I have only formed one new, still existing relationship of any type within the past 8 years, and have formed very few relationships of any kind. I do not make friends. Not only am I unconfortable about forming friendships, but I am actually resentful of those who do. I simply cannot stand being stereotyped by my age– those who assume that nearly every 21 year old is a care-free social-butterfly, a heavy drinker, and ignorant about the world.

Speaking of resentful, I have felt myself become more agressive throughout the years. In fact, I often catch myself speaking to others in a very condescending and rigid nature, and tend to take an extreme viewpoint in things. This happens so often, I fear that I actually find pleasure and satisfaction in aggitating others. I certainly rub people the wrong way, and usually find myself bringing notes of pessimism to every conversation. I have also noticed that when people insult what I call my “pride,” I become even more rigid and sensitive, angry, and offended.

My routine habits have changed as well. I fear that I am a compulsive eater, as I regularly have intense food and/or drink cravings that do NOT go fulfilled until I absolutely gorge myself on whatever it is that I am seeking. I have gained approximately 30 pounds in the last 4 years. I am always lethargic and lazy; it is an extreme effort for me to carry out daily tasks. Of course, I have my routine, which I NEVER break. It always seems to me as if I never have enough time to “do anything different”, although I actually probably do. The emotional numbness persists throughout every activity, even those that I used to enjoy. I ALWAYS feel like I am simply going through the motions. Every second of every day I feel this way. I feel as if I am slow to respond to stimuli, and especially notice my haziness while driving. Sometimes I am reluctant to drive, due to the fact that I feel so incredibly inattentive and in a fog. In addition, I am nearly always sleepy. I have found that I do not function well on less than 10 hours of sleep, and if left to my own devices I will sleep 12-14 hours at once. The sleep I do get is restless. I awaken easily and often find it difficult to fall asleep, or fall back asleep if I have awoken at an inopportune time.

Within the past 7 or 8 years I have felt myself completely change. Recently, I have become consciously aware of the fact that I have forgotten what it feels like to truly live my life. I don’t feel as if I have participated in ANYTHING in an extremely long time, and in retrospect everything feels like a dream to me. I have attempted to justify my feelings through blaming the condition of the world, through the turmoil of my past, and through the strength of my character. I am truly beginning to feel as if my problems extend much deeper than just my surroundings or my luck. I feel very, very distant from everyone who is important to me. I feel like I am wacthing my own life wind away before my eyes, and that it will be over without me ever having truly lived it. I feel trapped.

Lastly, I am very deeply sorry to those who care for me, even though it is incredibly difficult for me to admit for some reason. I suppose I have always associated appologies with emotional weakness. I am truly sorry for being so distant, but I’m terrified to reveal any of my feelings at all. I really think I need some help.
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Just to add one more detail: I do not believe I have Bipolar Disorder, as I have had absolutely no manic episodes, or manic traits. I used to be a psychology major, so I learned a fair amount about mental disorders and do not see myself as suffering from Bipolar Disorder.